Sometimes we don't notice when one chapter of our life is ending and the next is beginning. Other times, there is a clear demarcation: a birth, a death, a job change or a 4-states-away-move. We moved to Indy 4 years ago with a 6 month old. During the past 4 years, we have had twins, had a child with cancer and seen her through treatment. Needless to say, we feel VERY different than the couple with a new-ish infant that moved here! There is something about the heights of our highs and the depths of our lows that makes it feel like we have lived in Indianapolis for a lifetime. Much like going through your house to pack up gives you an opportunity to sift through things, tidy up, pass things on that you no longer need, reminisce etc, I am mentally and emotionally "packing up" the last 4 years. I hope (and know) that most of it goes with me, but a lot (especially dear friends) cannot physically make the trip. I know that those relationships, forged through a shared faith or shared experiences or shared griefs/joys, will continue in some form, but it is sad that they will be different.
This is also the first time that we've moved with non-infant kids. I thought that moving would not be that hard for our kids since they are still so young. Charlotte has proven me wrong. In the past few weeks, she has been asking tons of questions. She is very excited to be moving closer to family, but she is already, at the age of 4, aware of the loss that she will experience with the move. Apparently, she is going to be a sentimental packrat like her mama. She is sad about leaving our house and asks: Did we only borrow this house? What are the new people going to do to it? Will they bring their own stuff? She will also randomly say, "I'm really going to miss my bed...my books...my toys...etc" She is, of course, comforted though confused that these things will follow her to our next home. She is excited about being near family but insisted that she still wants to ride her bike to her best friend's house. I feel ya, Charlotte...I feel the same way. We have lived this season of parenthood in Indy...and though my stuff (and my family) will move with me to GA, it's going to be weird to be a parent in a new place again! I'm already mentally military-grade child-proofing our next house in my mind because our son is a monkey with no regard for pain ;)
We have been busy, hitting all the marks on the calendar....prepping a house for sale, selling and negotiating...taking Reese to a million last appts with specialists, tying up loose ends...and trying to spend time with people. Tying up Reese's medical loose ends and prepping to transfer care to another state has made me reflect on the past 2 years again. A few weeks ago, we met with a specialist who saw her in the very beginning. As Reese sat on my lap in the clinic, she proceeded to sing Holy, Holy, Holy, the ABCs, and itsy bitsy spider, randomly interjecting long strings of "Reese jabber" complete with hand motions (both song appropriate and improvised). He, like most other people who "talk" to her, couldn't help smiling and laughing at her...which only encouraged her to do it more. We talked about the plan from here, her developmental delays and her progress, etc. As he left the room to grab some paperwork, he said, "you know, we never thought she would look this great now. She's a miracle. I don't know if I even believe in miracles, but she's a miracle." I didn't answer him (bc it was almost under his breath), but as he left, I thought about all of the many, many prayers...the many, many obstacles...the many, many complications....the many, many days and months of near constant vomiting....the many, many days of covering PICC lines and central IV lines....the many, many days of not being able to hold her because she was uncomfortable...the many, many days of not going outside...the many, many days of seeing her siblings for only a few hours a day. Yes, I DEFINITELY believe in miracles. So many answered prayers. So much peace, so much comfort, so much growth in me, so much trust in the goodness of the God who allowed me to go through a deep valley and bring me out on the other side....and most importantly a sweet, bubbly girl, who may have side effects/delays, challenges that other kids don't have, but who is the funniest, most resilient red-headed girl I know!
Today was a special day. Reese had her last MRI scan at Riley and her last neuro-oncology appt before our move. It has been on my calendar for 3 months, amidst everything else. I haven't thought about it much in all the busyness, but a few days before the scan, I always feel nervous. We are about to leave our safety net at Riley, where the nurses, doctors, therapists, pharmacists, janitors, receptionists, etc have seen Reese at our worst and now at her best. They know her story. We have a new place to live, a new job, plans in another state, etc so I felt a twinge of anxiety about the results. What would we do if she needed more treatment? Well, great news is that that her scan looked great from a tumor perspective: "no evidence of residual or recurrent tumor"...whew-hoo! Though her scan shows plenty of evidence of the battles her brain has faced!
We had a great time in clinic, getting last minute information and visiting all the nurses, doctors and staff. There is a bell hanging on the wall of the heme-onc clinic with a poem beneath it that patients (or their parents) read at the end of treatment. There is a celebration with a certificate and medal. Most of the providers in the clinic gather around to cheer while the patient rings the bell. I walked past that bell so so so many times during the course of her treatment, 6 times on our way to a 3 week or more inpatient treatment. Other times for weekly appts with Reese in her mask after she was done with inpatient treatment. I saw other celebrations happening there and thought about how nice it would be to be done. Reese technically finished her chemo in March 2012 but she was barely a year old. She had many follow ups and had to wait for her bone marrow to mature, etc. Today, a nurse suggested that we have a celebration since it was our last visit and since Reese could finally enjoy it. I think I started crying a few seconds after that. We still have to have frequent scans and go to specialists/therapies, etc, but we made it through! It was just overwhelming to realize that we had made it to that moment. My camera ran out of memory so this last part was recorded on a cell phone. They presented her with a medal and certificate on the other video but this part was longer and cuter (except for me...hahah)
Thank you all for praying for Reese and for us. Thanks again for the meals, the notes, the hugs, the facebook likes, the cheers from the sidelines. Thank you to our Indy friends. Thank you to our medical providers. Thank you to our co-workers. Thank you to our many dear babysitters. Thank you to our family. You helped us make it to this point...and for those of you we are physically leaving behind...we are going to miss you like crazy!
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| Some friends we will miss! |
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| Charlotte and her BFF, Evie! |
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| Sweet pea! |
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How many kids can you pack onto a babydoll stroller? Don't know but
it only took 2-3 to make the wheels go parallel to the ground! |
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| 3 guys who kept Brian sane during a difficult time! |
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| Reese's first manicure before Riley Cancer Center Prom |
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| Sara, a sweet nurse, who took great care of Reese |
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| Family shot before Prom! |
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| Another of Reese's nurse friends! |
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| Brian's choice for Philip's face painting experience |
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| Sweet girls! |
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| Dancing with Daddy |
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| Sweet babies |
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| Reese with her social worker and nurse friends! |
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| Brother/sister dance |
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| Adores her Daddy! |
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| A mermaid that our children LOVED! |
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| Reese hitting the dance floor with Daddy |
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First time the sisters both wore night gowns. Reese chose to rid
herself of her diaper by the next morning so she is back in footie pjs for now
..hahah |
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| Twin tricyclists |
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| They're a tough tricycle gang...(or an aloof one, i'm not sure) |
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| Charlotte's mother's day program at school |
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| Playing with another friend |
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| Hitting the museum while we still can... |
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| One of Reese's therapists! |
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| A few of Reese's doctors and nurses from heme-onc clinic. |
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| Tiffany, a sweet nurse from stem cell |
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Reese's primary nurse on heme-onc, Leah
And I have lots more photos that I could upload....and many more to take during the next few weeks!
A few videos below for Riley Cancer Center Prom below:
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